Cooking with Garet
by Chel Bel
Summary: For Akiko's fic challenge Proves that you should Never, NEVER eat anything Garet cooks. One-shot


Hehe, finally got off my lazy arse and decided to write something. This is for Akiko's fic challenge by the way. Anyway I really enjoyed writing this fic. I hope all of you guys like it!

Garnet: Why would they? It was written by you stupid.

That's it I've had enough of you. =Locks Garnet in the bathroom and throws away the key= Much better. Well enjoy!

Garnet: I will escape from here if it's the last thing I do!

Disclaimer- I own nothing

**Cooking with Garet**

"Well? What do you guys think?"

All the adepts stared at the strange looking dish Garet held out before him. It appeared to be some kind of food, though they really couldn't be sure. On top of the yellowish blob that they _thought_ was a cake of some sort was a deep red mess of goo, sprinkled with purple cubes of some sort. The chunk of 'food' seemed to be melting in the sunlight, making it smell even more like five year old rotten cheesecake and tuna than it already did. Garet flashed a cheesy grin at everyone.

"Come on you guys! You have to tell me how it tastes! I want to know if I'm good enough for the National Valean Cooking Contest."

Before answering everyone looked around, trying to get out of this sticky, and disgustingly gooey, situation. As she looked around Mia suddenly noticed a small blue bird suddenly drop dead out of a tree. The smell seemed to have gotten to it. And it was beginning to get to her also... She bit her lip and was about to make a run for it until Sheba spoke up. "Hey Isaac, you were the one that suggested Garet try out for the contest, why don't you be the first to taste his 'masterpiece'." Isaac's eyes widened slightly and he turned and gave Sheba a quick glare.

"I-I don't know if I should. I sorta here my mom calling..."

"Don't be such a wimp Isaac. Show us what a brave hero you are and try it." Jenna said smirking.

"I'm not a wimp! Here, I'll take a bite of it right... now..." Isaac trailed.

"You'd better start eating now guys. It's melting..." Garet said staring at the dissolving blob.

Isaac hesitated before taking a spoonful. Once he had it on his spoon he gapped at the inside. It was gray with tiny blue-green polka dots in it. If he ate this he would die! Eh... too late now. If he died he would blame Sheba. Slowly he put the spoon to his lips, opened his mouth... and ate it. It was... it was... good? Isaac took the spoon out of his mouth and looked at everyone who had been expecting him to gag and drop dead. To their surprise he smiled. "It tastes like cinnamon buns!" Everyone fell over.

"WADDA' MEAN IT TASTES LIKE CINNAMON BUNS!" Jenna screamed at him.

"Try some it's not bad." Isaac said with a grin. Nobody moved. Ivan sighed. Why not give it a shot. After all, Isaac hadn't passed out yet. He took out a spoon and scooped some of the goop on it. He then shoved it in his mouth. His eyes widened at first then he looked at Isaac curiously. "Are you sure yours tasted like cinnamon buns? Mine tastes like cherry pie." Garet grinned.

"AHA! And that's just it you guys! To make this I combined various types of deserts, so that whenever you take a bite of it, it tastes like a new desert every time! Go ahead you guys! Dig in!" Garet stood there proudly, waiting for everyone to taste his first but not last great desert. They all shrugged, took out their spoons and began to eat.

"Mine tastes like carrot cake!" Sheba shrieked.

"Mine tastes like Jell-O!" Mia cried.

"Mine tastes like pudding!" Jenna yelled.

"It's bubblicious!" Picard giggled.

Garet felt great pride steam up inside him as he heard this. Everyone seemed to like it. Hell, he was lucky everyone had even tasted it. Especially Felix... Then it dawned on him. Felix hadn't said a word since he had eaten it. Carefully as though not to attract any attention, he turned his gaze over to Felix. Felix held his spoon straight up in one hand, with the other placed neatly on the table. His eyes seemed glazed over as he stared into the distance. Oh no... Garet recognized that position. He had to get away... fast.

He cast a small glance around the table. Good, nobody had noticed Felix yet.

"Uh... you guys I'm gonna go and... uh... um get some more of this. Be back later!" Everyone stared after Garet, curious about his odd behavior, but shrugged it off. Then something clicked in Jenna's mind. "Hey Felix, You never told us how yours tasted. Well? How is it?" Everyone waited for Felix's response but he just stayed in the same position without moving in the least.

Picard lightly nudged him. "Hello? Felix? Are you all right?" No response.

"You guys, he doesn't look too good..." Commented Ivan as he noticed Felix's pale face.

"F-Felix?" Jenna said, shaking him again. Felix turned his head and looked at her.

"It tastes like... like..."

"Like what Felix?" Mia asked politely.

"Like... Dog Shit..." And without another word Felix fell out of his chair, just as the poor, poor bird had fallen out of the tree. Everyone stared at the passed out Felix.

"Wait a minute..." Sheba piped up, "Garet said that he used different things to create different flavors or foods for each taste. That would mean..."

"If it really did taste like dog shit then..." Isaac didn't need to finish. Jenna stood up, enraged.

"GAAAAAAREEEEEET!!!!!"

**End**

Chel: That wasn't exactly as funny as I planned it to be... but you're the judge! How was it?

Felix: No fair, why did I have to be the one to pass out? Why not make it Picard?

Picard: Hey that's not nice! =goes to a corner and cries=

Chel: Because I love you Felix-chan =hands Picard cookie to make him stop crying= And I love Picard too :D

Picard: Yay! Cookie!

Felix: You know that made no sense right?

Chel: Yep, yep :) Well not much to say here! All I want is reviews! Nice, hot, steamy, sexy...

Felix: Please just review before she makes her list longer. :)

_--Chelsea--_

Garnet: =comes in room panting and covered in mud= HAHA! I escaped! =silence= where'd everybody go...?


End file.
